Bitching Brew

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Good times? Yup.

The hip-hop dancing was great. I just want to put that on the record. I wouldn't go so far as to say I excelled at it. ;) The first half was tough going. My body was pulled in unusual ways, and it's a long time since I've had to memorise patterns of physical movements; I gave up judo six years ago. I soon got into the swing of things. ('Into the groove' was far too obvious.) I was pleasantly surprised at my own flexibility, as well as my ability to mimic the patterns and move to different rhythms. It was really enjoyable, and I felt fantastic afterwards!

My mentality's subtly been shifting for the last few weeks. I feel a lot looser and freer; more willing to put myself out there and to experiment. The end of college, and indeed the end of exams, has surely been a factor. Nor can I discount the effect of some turbulent arguments! Most important, I think, is the knowledge that I'm moving on in less than three months. The implication is that nothing long-term can arise right now, in any field. Thus I find myself looking for temp work, dipping into short classes, and lifting some emotional weight off my shoulders.

To have strong passions can at times be a curse. My current transient state is easing these passions, or (perhaps more accurately) channeling them in a different way. I'm more open to different patterns, and I do feel emotionally freer. Perhaps it's just a more realistic attitude, impinging on one corner of my life. I'm interested to see how this is going to play out; I certainly can't predict how!



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