Supersize me.
I had a pizza in the freezer, a beast weighing just over 2lb. It was meant to feed three, so I was saving it for the appropriate moment. Well, this evening, I was really hungry. Out came the pizza, and after a session in the oven, down the throat it started to go. Trouble set in halfway. I believe I uttered the phrase "I can't eat any more of this." That was a lie; as the hour developed, I continued to attack the pizza, determined to finish it. I did.
I. Feel. Terrible. Distended and bent over. I'm quite tempted to stick my fingers down my throat and relieve the pressure. I've just eaten a kilo of stodgy food in one sitting. Imagine dropping a one-kilo bag of sugar down your pipe. Yeah. That's more like it.
Oh, more cramps. Never again.
I. Feel. Terrible. Distended and bent over. I'm quite tempted to stick my fingers down my throat and relieve the pressure. I've just eaten a kilo of stodgy food in one sitting. Imagine dropping a one-kilo bag of sugar down your pipe. Yeah. That's more like it.
Oh, more cramps. Never again.
posted by Martin at
5:14 a.m.
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5 of my readers composed a witty reply
5 Comments:
I believe the word you're looking for is 'bleurgh'. To make matters worse, you're only halfway through the ordeal. If you see what I mean...
By
Anonymous, at Wed Nov 22, 04:42:00 p.m.
LOL! With the holidays coming soon, I think you might reconsider your "never again" statement.
'Tis the season of stuffing our face, ta la la la la, la la la la...
By
Sonia, at Fri Nov 24, 10:35:00 p.m.
Halfway through the ordeal... 40% might have been more accurate. The body is not designed to consume so much so fast; I quickly learned how nature responds. No need to go into detail, but I assure you that I've no intention of repeating the unpleasant experience.
Thankfully Thanksgiving here doesn't mark the start of the holidays, unlike the American version. Otherwise the last six weeks would have turned me into a greying blob. I fear the Christmas meal... :)
By
Martin, at Sat Nov 25, 02:53:00 a.m.
My nasty meal seems to be coming out through my pores too. Great. After months of clear skin, a couple of breakouts just in time for the birthday photos!!!
By
Martin, at Sat Nov 25, 02:55:00 a.m.
LOL! Drink a lot of water and try Proactiv. It actually works!
By
Sonia, at Mon Nov 27, 08:52:00 p.m.
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