Bitching Brew

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Quick and Easy Guide to Pissing Off Your Housemates.

(1) Constantly complain about the house, missing no opportunity to air your desire to find a new home.
(2) Be offended when your housemates don't share your enthusiasm for living further away from the city, nor for paying 60% extra rent for that privilege.
(3) Inform your housemates by e-mail that you've given the landlord your month's notice, although you could have said it in person at our shared dinner the night before.
(4) Make little effort either to secure a new home or to assist in finding a replacement. Go on holiday for two weeks.
(5) Decide while on holiday that you might actually want to stay, but not bother to tell anyone. Meanwhile, your housemates are running ads and giving up several evenings to show the place. After a lengthy process, your housemates offer someone the room. She accepts with pleasure and pays the deposit.
(6) Return late from your holiday, and call the landlord to say you might like to stay. During this call, you suggest to the landlord that if he's willing to provide better beds, it would be perfectly acceptable to increase the rent by €100 per person, per month. The landlord, naturally, thinks this is a fantastic idea. The housemates remain unaware of this entire conversation.
(7) Seven days before you're due to move out, inform your housemates of the above conversation.
(8) React with fury and insults when your housemates tell you that someone else has agreed to move in, that they object to your proposal to the landlord, and that you can't just go around breaking promises. You grudgingly accept, with flecks of contempt, an offer to let you stay for up to a month while you search for a new home. You accuse the housemates of a conspiracy to evict you.
(9) Stomp loudly, blank your housemates, and create a maelstrom of noise any time you're in the kitchen.
(10) On Saturday evening, after agreeing to let your housemates invite friends over, your plans for the night fall through. You come downstairs, reduce the music, turn on the TV, and crank the volume up. You ignore both your housemates and their guests.

Am I wrong to be infuriated by this person, whom I would previously have called a friend?

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